From Exhausted to Empowered

My Journey with People-Pleasing

I used to think being easygoing and accommodating was just my personality. I thought I was being "nice," "helpful," and "reliable." But under the surface, I was drowning in exhaustion, self-doubt, and resentment. I didn’t know how to rest. I didn’t know how to say no. And I didn’t know who I was outside of what others needed from me.

The turning point came in therapy. My therapist asked me one simple question: “What do you want?” And I had no idea how to answer. That silence was a wake-up call.

As I started unpacking my patterns, I realized that people-pleasing was a way I learned to stay safe. Growing up, being liked felt like protection. Making others happy kept the peace. But as an adult, it came at the cost of my mental and emotional health.

The journey out wasn’t linear. I fumbled through setting boundaries. I cried after saying no. I wrestled with guilt, fear, and loneliness. But slowly, I started choosing myself and feeling empowered—not because I stopped caring about others, but because I started caring about myself too.

This journey became the foundation of my book, Breaking Free from People-Pleasing. It’s filled with the tools, insights, and compassion I wish I had at the beginning.

If you see yourself in this story, I want you to know—you’re not alone, and you’re allowed to change.