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Journey to Healing:
Trauma • People-Pleasing • Relationships • Dissociation
Healing from trauma isn’t easy—but you don’t have to figure it out alone. This blog is a safe place to explore what it really means to recover from childhood wounds, break free from people-pleasing, and navigate the ups and downs of relationships after trauma.
As a trauma therapist serving women in North Dakota and Minnesota, I share insights, tools, and real-talk guidance about topics like:
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Understanding the effects of trauma on the nervous system and relationships
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Finding freedom from anxiety, guilt, and shame
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Supporting healing if you live with dissociation or Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
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Practical strategies to set boundaries, care for yourself, and move forward
Whether you’re searching for hope, wanting to understand yourself better, or curious about therapy, you’re in the right place. Healing is possible—let’s take this journey together.
Body Image Gets Worse in the Summer—Let’s Talk About Why
It’s not just about clothing.
It’s about exposure.
More:
Social events
Photos
Comparisons
Situations where you feel “seen”
If you already have underlying self-esteem struggles, summer doesn’t create them.
It amplifies them.
Jul 22 min read
You Don’t Trust Yourself—Here’s Why (and How to Start)
You second-guess everything.
What to say.
What to choose.
What you feel.
What you should feel.
Even small decisions can feel weirdly overwhelming.
And when you do make a choice?
You question it almost immediately
Jun 252 min read
When Your Relationship Anxiety Isn’t About Your Partner
Sometimes relationship anxiety isn’t about the relationship.
It’s about what your nervous system has learned to expect from closeness.
Jun 182 min read
The Guilt After Saying No: How to Handle It Without Backtracking
Now you’re thinking:
“Was that too harsh?”
“I should probably explain more”
“What if they’re upset?”
Jun 112 min read
Boundary Setting Isn’t Working—Here’s What You’re Missing
It didn’t work.
The other person:
Pushed back
Got upset
Ignored it
Or you ended up walking it back completely
Now you’re sitting there thinking:
“What’s the point?”
Jun 42 min read
Why You Still Care What People Think (Even When You’re Sick of It)
The Truth You Might Need to Hear
You may never fully stop caring what people think.
And that’s not the goal.
The goal is:
It doesn’t control your behavior.
It doesn’t override your needs.
It doesn’t decide your worth.
May 282 min read
“I Know I Need Boundaries… But I’m Not Ready”—Now What?
Most boundary advice skips this part entirely.
It tells you what to say—but not why it feels so hard to say it.
If you’re someone who:
Grew up managing other people’s emotions
Learned that keeping the peace = staying safe
Feels responsible for how others react
…then setting a boundary doesn’t just feel uncomfortable.
It feels risky.
Even if logically you know it’s not.
May 142 min read
Why You Feel Lonely in Relationships (Even When You’re Not Alone)
You might have a partner. Friends. People you talk to regularly.
And yet, there’s this quiet, persistent feeling:
No one really knows me. I don’t feel fully seen. Something feels… missing.
This kind of loneliness isn’t about how many people are in your life.
It’s about how connected you feel within yourself while you’re with them.
Apr 292 min read
You’re Not Lazy — You’re Burnt Out From Survival Mode
As external stressors shift (seasonal change, life transitions, emotional awareness), your body may finally slow down enough to feel the exhaustion it’s been holding.
This can feel frustrating — especially if you expected to feel better.
But slowing down is not failure.
It’s your system asking for repair.
Apr 221 min read
When You Start Setting Boundaries and Everything Feels Worse
You’re not responsible for how others respond. You’re responsible for staying aligned with yourself.
Apr 151 min read
“I Know My Patterns… So Why Do I Keep Repeating Them?”
You can name your patterns. You can see them happening in real time. And yet — you still fall into them.
Apr 81 min read
Why You’re Questioning Your Relationships Right Now
Things you used to ignore feel louder. Things you used to tolerate feel heavier. And thoughts you didn’t have before are showing up more often:
Is this relationship actually healthy for me? Why do I feel drained after being around them? Why am I the one always adjusting?
This can feel unsettling — especially if nothing dramatic has happened.
Apr 12 min read
Red Flags Feel Safe in Relationships, Green Flags Feel Uncomfortable — Here’s Why
If unpredictability, emotional distance, or inconsistency were part of early relationships, your body learned to recognize those dynamics as normal.
Mar 261 min read
When You “Disappear” in Relationships: Understanding Dissociation
Dissociation is not avoidance.
It’s protection.
Mar 191 min read
People-Pleasing Isn’t Kindness — It’s a Survival Strategy
People-pleasing isn’t about being nice. It’s about avoiding danger — emotional danger.
Mar 122 min read
Why You Feel More Sensitive in Relationships Right Now (It’s Not Random)
Trauma trains your nervous system to scan for danger in connection. Relationships are where many wounds were formed, so relationships are where your system is most alert.
Mar 52 min read
Red Flags vs. Green Flags: How Trauma Can Blur the Difference in Romantic Relationships
Trauma teaches the nervous system to associate intensity with connection. Red flags like unpredictability, boundary violations, or emotional volatility may register as chemistry. Green flags like consistency, respect, and clear communication may feel unfamiliar or underwhelming.
Feb 281 min read
Betrayal Trauma: Why Trust Feels So Hard After Being Hurt by Someone You Loved
Betrayal trauma often leads to hypervigilance, emotional shutdown, self-doubt, and difficulty trusting your own judgment. You may replay events endlessly, wondering how you missed the signs. Many people blame themselves more than the person who betrayed them.
Feb 211 min read
Attachment Trauma: Why Love Can Feel Unsafe Even When You Want It
Some people learn to cling — becoming hyper-attuned, anxious, or afraid of abandonment. Others learn to pull away — numbing needs, minimizing dependence, or valuing independence above all else. Many people move between both.
Feb 142 min read
Why Relationships Can Feel So Triggering After Trauma (Especially Around Valentine’s Day)
If relationships feel especially triggering for you — particularly during seasons that emphasize romance and connection — there is a reason. And it has nothing to do with being “bad at relationships.”
Feb 72 min read
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